I was searching for information to help me understand and deal with all my mom is going through. Seems several of you have similar situations to mine. My mom broke her hip about 2 months ago and went to a nursing home for rehab. Things have gotten very hard to deal with since then. She refused therapy and has now having delusions and extreme confusion at various times. She is ok some days but her personality and behavior changes within hours. I just don’t know what to do to help her. I know she does not have alzheimers but the doctor thinks that’s what is causing her problems. The nurses all think it is a urinary infection. My 70 year old aunt who stayed with mom before she broke her hip wants to bring her home even though she may be bedridden. My heart wants to bring her home but I also feel a need to protect my children from the sorrow of helping with her care and watching her die slowly. I am so stressed that I don’t know what to do. Sorry I seem to be using this as a sounding board but I just don’t know what the best way to deal with all of this is. We have paid my aunt to help with mom’s care and swapped weekends (my children, my brother, and me) for the past 2 years. I don’t know that my aunt or children could deal with caring for my mom given her present condition and I don’t think my brother would join in the weekend rotation at this point for a variety of reasons. Any recommendations from those of you who have a parent with a similar injury and deterioration of their mental and physical state?
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I have moved my 2 sons and my husband in to my mom’s house to take
care of her now that she has dementia. I was living nearby before
and noticed over several years time the confusion and stress it
was causing her. The first year she was angry and combative about
everything – except toward her grandchildren.
Teenagers both, I explained as much as I could and they were afraid
at first. But a year later our family has blended in to her home.
We try not to disrupt her daily life. Actually the only
one who doesn’t understand is my husband. I am blessed with a wonder
ful mother-in law and the way her kids treat her as she faces some
of the same issues is sad. My husband included. I am beginning to
suspect him of Sundowner’s at age 51 because he gets angry if I try to
talk to him in the evening. And he can’t understand that the elderly
just might suffer from anxiety and are unable to control this behavior
Like my life could get any weirder. I’d love to put him in a home.
Is your Mom on medications? I have a mom that I have been taking care of for 3 years now. I have to battle the doctors to decrease her medications because she cannot tolerate high doses of medications.
At night…since I had a doc who took her oof low dose klonipine when she was trying to “EXIT” seek/wander off…I give her Tylenol PM or a Benadryl to slow her down and it usually helps after about 30 mins to put her to sleep. This will keep them from wandering off late at night!!!! It works!
Good luck it is tough.
oh, also. You can look into getting PCA’s to help you with her care depending on how much she needs it.
Call a local nursing care aid agency in the phone book. Medicaid will help pay for this.
They come into the house and give baths/feed, etc.
Best wishes,
Naia
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