Symptoms
People with Sundowner’s Syndrome can exhibit any number of symptoms. Of course, the key is that the symptoms occur in the late afternoon or evening, or in the case of someone with more severe dementia, the symptoms worsen at night. These symptoms, which are also symptoms of Alzheimer’s Disease and other types of dementia,
These symptoms can be dangerous, both for the person with the Syndrome and for anyone around them.
You may find that your loved one is suddenly seeing angels in the room or believes you have stolen something. They may not recognize you or become terrified at the thought of your leaving even for a moment. The behavior is illogical and irrational, but bear in mind that someone with Sundowner’s cannot control these behaviors.
Wandering is especially dangerous because the person with Sundowner’s will suddenly be missing and may not know where he or she is going or why. Without identification, people with the Syndrome have become lost and unable to find their way back home.
- Rapid mood changes
- Anger
- Crying
- Agitation
- Pacing
- Fear
- Depression
- Stubbornness
- Restlessness
- Rocking
The most difficult symptoms to deal with are:
- Hallucinations
- Hiding Things
- Paranoia
- Violence
- Wandering
People with Sundowner’s Syndrome may also “shadow” you, following you around and doing everything you do. They might ask you questions over and over or interrupt you when you’re speaking to someone else. They may lose their full language abilities, and abstract thoughts may become especially difficult for them to comprehend.
Keep in mind that if someone has a paranoid or hallucinatory episode, there’s no point in trying to convince them they’re wrong. It simply won’t work, and they will most likely not remember the episode in the morning.
{ 109 comments… read them below or add one }
My mother has just begun sundowning; she has been in and out of the hospital for the past year due to cancer and it’s side effects. The SD symptoms came on her suddenly and affect her with very very real hallucinations and paranoid thoughts. She remembers them too! She always feels foolish when she is herself again but expresses how very real it all seems at the time. She has tried to remove her IV”s and wound vac. If this continues they may use restraints or even haladol (sp). I haven’t researched that yet but I do remember that it is some form of strong anti psychotic med.
I have learned to not try to convince her she is hallucinating but emotionally it is very difficult.
I am so glad I found this sight. I have an 86 yr old Mother whom I live with, and take care of. For the past few months her Hallucinations have been getting worse at night, and I am woken up every night with her calling for me in fear. My Father had Dementia, and had sun downers for a few yrs before he passed. my Mom is showing all the signs of it, but she has a walker, so she can’t walk around a lot. She see’s people in her room. Children on her bed playing, and last night. She was on the edge of her bed saying she was lost. She is from England, and she thought she was over there, and lost. I have to convince her in a very calm way, that she is safe, and ok. My daughter now lives with us, and helps me with her as I just had Surgery. My Mom is very alert in the day, but as night comes, she starts with the frustration, crying, anger, talking to herself for very long periods of time, and then in the middle of the night..seeing things. I am so tired, I don’t know what to do…Any Suggestions ??
HI Barbara,
I understand completely how you feel. My mother in law who is 90, is suffering from dementia/Alz. and we have been through so much with her. I will tell you that 2 things have worked (somewhat) in our favor. The meds she is on has been miraculous, so getting her to the right dr. and on the right meds regime is critical. My m-i-l takes Namenda twice a day. You may want to look into custodial care, that is someone to come in to her home on a decided upon daily basis. We got as far as interviewing several candidates, and then the meds kicked in and we ended up not needing custodial care. We live on a ranch, in separate houses, and my m-i-l is able to feed, care for herself and her home so she is not needy or incapacitated in any of those ways. I do all her grocery shopping and chauferring to appointments of coures.while interviewing candidates for custodial care I learned something that was very important and helpful to me and my husband. It’s important to take care of yourself first and foremost. Accept and seek outside help, be it a relative or good friend or hired help. This disease affects the whole family and it’s crucial for you to take care of yourself, or else you are no good to anyone else. Good luck~God Bless.
Thank you Jeanie, My Mom is unable to care for herself as in making food for herself, and needs help dressing. She is very sharp in the head, but it is very slowly becoming forgetful. I don’t have any other family aside from my kids to help, and I have lots of friends, but they all are so busy with there own lives.. My Sister passed away 6 yrs ago, and my Father passed away 3 yrs ago from Parkinson’s, and Dementia. I took care of him also at times, and it was very wearing on the Family. I think it all just hit me yesterday , after I had to clean up after my mom a few times from her messing herself. She is fully incontinent now, and diapers, and pads don’t work even. I got very Depressed yesterday, and it was Horrible. I didn’t want her to know, so I tried to stay in my room most of the day. i don’t think I’ve ever been SOO Depressed. I am on Prozac, Thank God! But it sure didn’t help yesterday. I am feeling a little better today, so I am hoping it goes away, and I can deal with all this with a level head….I do need to be Healthy, and strong. I am recovering myself from a Surgery I had 6 weeks ago. Vaginal pro lap’s. Not FUN! So, that has been very difficult in itself. Any ways, thank you for your support, and Good Luck to you too, Barbara
Hi again,
Barbara, is your mom in a financial position to qualify for some in home aide? If you could at least get a little reprieve now and then it could do you a world of good. I’m sorry you have so much on your plate. I just took a 12 question quiz on “Caregiver Burnout” and scored in the red zone, I can only imagine that you are probably off the charts! Sorry about your surgery too. We have cattle and frequently the cows prolapse and we have to deal with that, because where we live the vets can’t always get out to us immediately. (I don’t mean to compare you to a cow! but I understand) Take care, Jeanne
Ha ha ha!! I feel like a Cow sometimes!!!
No, I understand what you are saying….I heard the elderly get it in their behinds also. So, Not Fun!!! Yeah, my Mom has the money, but would not be happy having someone else in here..I do leave her alone a few hours at a time if I know she is fed, and safe with numbers, and her Life Alert. She does fine with that so far….I have great Neighbors also who have keys to my house…I am sure I am in the Red Zone!! Sometimes I want to slip her a chill pill!! But I would never..I just walk outside, and let her talk to herself…ha ha I have to sometimes..God Love Her!! She means well, But, it is just so stressful, and interfering in my life sometimes…Take care, Barb
Hello, I am a nurse and have cared for a man on Haldol and the Haldol was the cause of his hallucinations. Once he was off the med, he was alert. Ruth
Help…My mother is 81. I went to their home to visit my parents yesterday which isvery common. I walked in and was shocked at my mom’s behaviour. It wasn’t even her. My father is 82 and has his wits about him and I fear he has been trying to hide this from us. The first thing that came to mind was Se’s getting alzheimers. QUESTION….She has chronic pain and started taking morphine sulphate 2 days prior, could this be the problem? My dad says she has had some small episodes before but this just blew me away. Can anyone give me some advise? Thanks Theresa
Theresa,
My mother has end stage stomach/lung cancer who has also just started taking the morphine sulphate for chronic pain. We’ve also been experiencing this same behavior and I have found, from her dr’s and the Hospice care folks that indeed the Morphine Sulfate will cause this type of behavior.
As of yesterday we moved from the tablet to the liquid Morphine but this seems to have only made the problem worse. At this stage they’ve told me that the only other thing to give her would be DeLauded (sp) which will inch her closer to death with each dose.
God Bless everyone here who is taking care of a terminal parent/relative. No one tells you the complete horror story you live with while caring for a dying loved one.
I am sorry to hear about your Mother. I have an 81 year old Mother and she is getting more and more oobstinate. She just wrecked her car and she is on Class A narcotics on a daily basis, but I cant ger her to stop driving. Worrying about her drove my blood pressure up to 197/92 and I have decided I I have to let her do what she wants. Is is difficult to deal with this, but I don’t thing that she has sundowners syndrome maybe early dementia. Hope that things work out for you.
Smoothie you can petition the state drivers license bureau or her doctor, sometimes anonymously via website to have her drivers license reviewed and/or revoked. Simply list the medications she is on, her symptoms and conditions that make it dangerous for her to drive, and let the professionals decide if she should be on the road or not. In the meanwhile, make sure her auto insurance is paid up and perhaps start a conversation with them… It is difficult for children to upset their parents' independence, but on the other hand, if it is coming from someone else, the doctor, the state, the insurance agency, etc. It has better results… and it's more objective too. We had about 4 neighbors and 14 relatives anonymously petition our state BMV with driving concerns of our mother and grandmother, and after a 2 month review… she now has a hired driver for errands 4 hours per week. She kept the car, but she herself has not driven it in over 6 years. A good all around compromise. She has her independence and her car, but SHE"S not the one driving it! It protects her, and her neighbors driving around here, and the neighborhood children on bikes, etc.
Please disable the car. You would feel terrible if she hurt someone else. Have been thru this with several family, a hard step to become the parent. They all went to sit in their car, just never went anywhere when it didn’t work anymore altho we did have to fake some fixings etc. and contact the local machanic to play along.
Thanks, my mom is basically housebound unless someone takes her out, maybe a good thing. Very worried, it seems to have happened so quickly. She won’t even talk to Dr.s when we take her we have to speak for her, I don’t know why. I told my dad there is med. for alzheimers if that is what it is but he says she can’t be diagnosed because she will not talk to them.
It’s really very simple…
just take the keys away, and then she can’t drive anymore.
Then talk to someone about support for you, so that you can
continue to do the right thing.
The problem MeMe I have is that he calls a locksmith that makes him a key for his van. And to disable it, means he calls a tow truck for someone to come fix it! He understands he should not be driving, so he rarely will get in the van in the early hours (3 or 4)of the morning and go for a ride. I had left the van there because my sister drives him around and her car is old and not safe. But I realize that as he becomes more brave about driving that there is an increase in a accident happening. I have sent a letter to ask to revoke his license. I am not sure if he has gotten that letter yet. I hate to become his enemy! Any other suggestions of ways to get that done.
Smoothie please don’t give up on stopping your Mom from driving. I moved my Mother and Father near me last summer. My Dad has been in hospitals both in their old hometown and mine since that time. Daddy is no longer an issue but Mother continues to insist she could drive. Their geriontologist tells me that there is a test that can be given to “show them” they are nolonger capable. A local professional was killed here recently when a 79 year old plowed into him pushing him into oncoming traffic. Authorities are considering pressing charges – what a tragedy for all.
I just took over the care for my dady in Feb. He had been involved in a accident & driving the wron way in traffic. He lived alone & would let no one know his business, nor be power of attorney. We brought him to the city where we live & placed him in Asst. Living. He is 91 & soon learned how to open their fire door. We had to move him to a locked memory unit. He is angry, defiant, forgetful, distrusts everyone, bags up his belonging at night. He was assessed with Alzheimers/dementia upon going to the new place. Now is exhibiting signs of sundowning. His main big worry is his money. He asks about it every few minutes. We gave him a big party there for his bd & two days later, he had completely forgotten it & the 11 family members that came. It is so sad.
Can you use game money? My son teases me that he will set me in the corner with a bilfold full of Monoply money and I’ll be happy . My dad too worried about money. I had all their mail come to me and since he saw no bills, it was easier to deal with. So hard!
dee, my dad just told me this morning that all his bills are gone, they threw them away. i had to remind him that they didn’t do that and that i have been handling them. he asked if he could get copies, i told him sure, but not sure why he’d want them. he agreed with that logic. i reminded him that he won’t have bills for electricity, gas, cable, phone since he’s at a care facility. he hasn’t been interested in even opening his mail, let alone paying bills, for the last year and a half that he lived in his old house.
On June 30, 2009 my 89 yer old father was admitted into hospital for knee surgery. The surgery went well and he was released to rehab facility 5 days later. At first he was a little disoriented with all the changes in rooms and towns (surgery was in Omaha, rebah in Manning Iowa). But could grasp situation if reminded.
2 days later my dad is unable to keep a grasp of reality – he is halucinating and seems to recognize immediate family but talks about thinks that are not happening and just can not stay in “same” time as visitors, etc. The doctor has labeled it as Sundowners – he seem less confused in morning and as day continues he starts these stories or conversations that are not real.
We are told he may get better or he may not. My biggest concern is – in all the pre-surgery conversations with the surgeon, his primary care doctor and his heart doctors, etc – why did anyone tell us that though he was approved for surgery – we may be replacing a knee with his brain, which seemed normal prior to surgery.
I am totally shocked and upset by all this. Has anyone else experienced this? And what was their outcome?
Dottie, my father went in for back surgery and came out with a stroke in fall 2008. He also has Parkinson’s, and now his dementia, and consequent sundowners syndrome, is advanced to the point where he cannot be cared for in his own home anymore. Judging by all the comments on these pages, I do not see that there is a solution to the problem. We all just have to realize that there’s nothing we can do to help them through it, can’t reason with them. We have to set limits for ourselves and can’t get sucked down into the pits with them. We have to not feel guilty about doing whatever it takes to get the person the best professional care possible (which probably doesn’t mean us at our homes). No easy answers, the way I see it. I know I am in for a long rough road, as are many of us. We can only rely on God to help us, as we are powerless to get by on our own. Good luck to you.
THANKS . Going through this with 93yr old aunt , Sometimes I feel Like i can not deal with the situation any longer Other times I feel guilty for feeling that way. You are absolutely right there is nothing we can do to satisfy them because they really do not know what they what themselves. I have gone from extreme fatigue to bad health,denial exclusion from family and friends to be at her every call.. I have just come to the realization that this is not really helping her because she may not even remember any of this. Dementia sundowners syndrome and althemizers is a horrible combination of medical issues for our loved ones but it is twice as hard for the care givers. GOD is the answer personally I would like to keep her in my home with the family as long as possible know that a time may come where I need 24hr professional care (maybe not in my home ) Thank you angain Good Luck to you also
Dottie,
I was a nurse for 26 years, now retired, and the first thing I wondered about, when I read your post, was, why would they do a knee replacement on an 89 year old? Secondly, it is not unusual for elderly surgical patients to become disoriented, post op. Sometimes it can be attributed to the anesthesia, sometimes just due to their age. I think as you age, you get accustomed to your rituals and the familiar, and this makes you feel secure. When something out of the ordinary happens, it sends some into a tail-spin.
I live with my ex-husband, who is 78, and has Alzheimer’s. I can empathize with all of you! I am 66 and realize what a job I have ahead of me. He has been exhibiting Sundowner’s, especially since I got custody of our 15 year old grandson, who has ADHD. There are so many similarities in both of them. I have already told my grandson if he lays a hand on his Papaw, regardless of how threatening he may be toward him, I will have him sent to juvenile. I dread evening and nights! When my ex goes to bed, my grandson will sometimes go to the den to watch T.V. I have a T.V. also, but he enjoys the independence watching T.V. alone gives him. The first time he did this, my ex came storming into the den and demanded that our grandson leave his room (the den) and give him “his remote” . Our grandson became defiant and wouldn’t budge. I heard the angry voices and went to the den to see what was wrong. I couldn’t believe my ex was acting so immature, but being obstinent is par for our grandson. I finally got our grandson to leave the den and come to my room and my ex went to bed, with his remote. He got into the habit of taking the remote to his bedroom when he went to bed, so our grandson couldn’t watch T.V. My grandson actually acts more mature, at times, than my ex. I repeatedly ask my ex to leave our grandson alone and I will take care of him myself. I have custody of him, my ex does not. But, because of his Sundowners, it’s almost as if he turns into Mr. Hyde. He also tries to do everything our grandson does; he jumped in the pool while holding a beach ball, like our grandson did, he walks around in his boxers, like our grandson does, he flexes his muscles (which are non-existent), like our grandson does, he keeps a record of how much they weigh each week, my ex is losing weight, and he chides our grandson for not losing weight. (he sometimes posts a lower weight, than he actually weighs. We ask him to weigh in front of us so we would know for sure.) It might seem funny if it weren’t so sad.
Regardless, I am here for the long haul, for both of them.
My ex and I have been divorced for 22 years and were married for 21. He has only one brother, who is not married, and I feel like I need to be here for him. He asked me to come live with him and bought a house 2 years ago, which I wanted, so we could leave it to our 3 grandchildren to do what they want with it. We got our daughter when she was 9, ( I couldn’t have children). She was a joy to raise, but when she was first pregnant, she heard voices and was diagnosed as Bi-Polar w/schizoid affect, and this is a whole ‘nother story!
I trust the Lord for my every breath, so whatever He allows, I know I can accomplish, as long as He is with me. Share your burden with the Lord and it will be lighter to bear. It is a comfort, but not any joy in, knowing I am not alone. Thank you all for your posts.
I experienced all of these symptoms with my mother (83) some months before she died. Unfortunately none of the nursing staff gave me any explanation even though I suggested dementia. If they had it would have been much easier to cope with and I would have visited and stayed longer (with a book or crossword) knowing that it was part of an illness and not just her being nasty. Thank you for the insight. We are just at the beginning of the anxiety in afternoon with my husband’s mother (92) and now I understand I can be more patient with her.
Mydad is 81 yearsold and had operation april 21 came home for 2weeks and then back in, he had another operation may 9th and the 12 cuz he had no circulation going to his leg he had almost lost his leg. as time went on he had been very confuse talking about things also that are not true. or seeing things and no one there. this has got me also worried and stress outt l have ask the nurse if it was the medacation age she said it was sundown too so l know what u are feeling . l pray for my dad to heal but it only getting worst. he hasent walk for 2months to skinny and week so now he has to go to a nursing home also he has try to hit my mom to. it very scary this sun down my prayers are with you people
We just are experiencing what the staff told us is “sundowning” My mom is 95 and two weeks ago she was going out to lunch, once a week and living alone and doing all her own cooking, etc. Her delight was trips to shop or just “poke” as she said. With the hot weather, she was not feeling like eating and was not drinking water either. Her sodium level fell dangerously low and she had to be hospitalized and given an IV. Three days later her levels were all normal and she went to rehab because she was so phyically weak. She is fine during the day, but by 5PM at night she is violence and screaming and does not want anyone near her. It is so unlike her as she has always been gentle and sweet. We are getting called back to the rehab center every night because the staff can’t get her medications into her. We authorized Activan, the lowest does,(anti-anxiety drug) but she won’t take it and they can’t give it to her unless she is agitated, we’d like her to have it when she’s on the edge, before she is out of control, but they tell us they can’t give it to her then. We are very frustrated with our first experience of any kind of illness with my mom. Anyone have any suggestions for us?
I have been caring for my mother-inlaw, she is 86yrs old, with Hypertension, and now was told that she has been experiencing of systoms of Sundowners, have never heard of this before. If someone has been dealing with disease, I have only seen some of the systoms,She has been hospitalized many times for hypertension. I don;t see much of the confusion, yet, but other systoms. Does the confusion come at a different time?Most of our systoms are interupting when you are talking with someone, maybe this is just the beginning.Let me know if anyone is dealing with this,
My Grandmother has recently been hospitalized with UI and suddenly today she has been diagnosed with Sundowners. After reading all of these comments, I’m wondering what is similar about all of these cases, seems most everyone was in the hospital when diagnosed. Could medication or a combination of meds be the cause of this ‘sudden’ reaction?
My father had a similar experience when he was in his late 80′s and hospitalized. He still is confused about that time period, but we did realize that medication was the triggering factor for him. He was on morphine for pain and, when the dose was reduced, the symptoms moderated. He is now 91 and no more issues with those symptoms.
Today I heard from a dear friend in her early 60′s who was hospitalized for an intestinal blockage and had surgery last week. Now she is experiencing evening depression and hallucinations, and she says someone told her it was “sunset syndrome”. I am very concerned!
My father who is 73 years old has been suffering from parkinsons for 7 years now and sunset syndrome for a few months. His sundown syndrome kicked in full force with no warnings. No sleep for anyone at night, My sister , Wife and I have been taking turns watching him at night so my mother who cares for him during the day can sleep. He wanders, forgets to use his walker or forgets how to use it. Tells me to take him home,even though he is home. Calls me his brother John who has been dead since 1972. Apparently there is nothing out there to treat this problem or so I have been told. Sleeping medicine works against him and causes him to become more confused. Any tips? wearing thin on all front’s and it appears that the final option is a nursing home or paying for private care.However I Know Both options will break the bank.
i suggest nursing home, or you can do private care until his funds run down, then get medicaid to place him somewhere. there are no good answers or solutions, but you can’t continue the way you are now. my dad’s sundowners and dementia and parkinsons has just gotten to the point where his live-in caregiver can no longer help him, so we have to get him placed into a home asap. we will be faced with the same issues you are having, once his funds run down. his social security and pension total 2200/month, and it’s really hard to get 24/7 care for that amount. i feel your pain. i pray a lot. good luck to you.
Jerry,
OMG! My mom has Parkinsons and lately has been more confused in the evening hours. Like the sprinkler is hitting her bedroom window, (not possible, they don’t come on at night), cats are under the bed, my Aunt from Vegas was visiting her and permission from my dad to go to sleep. I work in the healthcare field so I’m getting used to her dementia/sundowners but worried about her as it get’s worse. Can’t afford dementia group homes, and knowing I need more help. Curious on what you ended up having to do. Any great words of advice would be totally helpful!
Thank You,
Debbie
thanks for all messages about sundowners. my husband has parkinson’s dementia. has hallucinations. now he is violent, has sundownwes. i can’t afford full time care. he is in rehab and we are waiting for a room in a memory unit of an assisted living. it helps to know i am not alone. god bless us all.
eleanor
Eleanor, I am sorry to hear that. My dad was in the exact same situation this spring. I had a hard time finding him a place once he became violent. Most places just didn’t want the risk and liability. It’s a big hole in the system. I found that NO assisted living places would take him at all. I had to go straight to skilled nursing (we also couldn’t afford the pricier memory units, no needed a place that Medi-cal (MedicAid) would pay for, and they only pay for skilled nursing. He was in Central California, but we had to move him down to L.A. county because they were the only place that would take him. If you have trouble much longer, you may wish to enlist the help of A Place For Mom. http://www.aplaceformom.com/
Their consultants provide housing help free of charge to you (the facility pays them after placement). They were pivotal in helping us. You can also call your local long term care ombudsman for help, assuming you haven’t already gone these routes. If worse comes to worse, hopefully the hospital’s social service person can come through and find a place. If none of these work, there are more extreme measures you can take, so reply to me if you need more help. Best of luck to you and your husband.
Seroquel really helped my mother. 25 mg at bedtime one night and 12.5 mg the next night. Then back to the 25mg. stc
My mother had that in her last couple of years. I only recently found out this is what she had.
More than once, she would say there were children in the room, and say she heard birds chirp all night. She was invalid her last couple of years. I slept in the room with her at night. One night she thought there were other people in the house and was determined to get out of bed to see who it was. I kept telling her it was just us, but she wouldn’t believe me, kept trying to get out of bed and I had to keep restraining her. After what seemed like forever, she finally settled down and went to sleep. I was so keyed up it was a couple of hours before I could sleep. Only the grace of God kept her from trying to get up while I was sleeping and falling on the floor. I still had to get up and go to work the next morning.
Twice after I put her to bed, she woke up after a couple of hours and wanted her supper. I told her she’d already eaten, but she didn’t believe me. So I got her up, put her in her wheelchair, took her in the kitchen and fixed her something to eat. She ate, brushed her teeth, I put her back to bed and she went to sleep. The next morning she didn’t remember anything about it, and thought I was making it up when I told her about it. After that, I quit telling her things like this, because she thought she was losing her mind.
One Christmas my sister and her husband stopped by with Mama’s present. Mama was okay, but after they left, she had it in her mind that my sister was supposed to be living with us, was missing, and wanted me to go find her and call the sheriff. I kept telling her that my sister was at her house with her husband, to no avail. After she finally accepted it, or maybe just forgot all about it, she decided I was missing. I said “Mama, do you know who I am?” She said “yes, you’re Judy.” She knew I was her daughter Judy, but had it in her mind that her daughter Judy (me) was missing.
We did have a nice lady to stay with her. Mama liked her, which was rare, as Mama usually didn’t like any of the sitters we had.
My brother and sister don’t know all about this, I never told them.
I have a similar situation to Dottie’s and some of the other posts. My mother was diagnosed with colon cancer which had not spread (thank God). She survived the operation (86 years old and excellent mental and physical health). However, after the 3rd post-op day she became disoriented and started seeing people in white and bugs, etc. She knows who we are but is getting more agitated at i write this. The doctor said this condition was common in elderly patients and he was confident that she would be back as she was before the surgery (I hope that he is not lying to us). Activan (?) has been prescribed in low dosage due to her violent behavior (swinging at medical staff and me and my sisters – doesn’t do so with men though). Like Dottie said, there should have been some type of disclosure about this happening prior to surgery because we never imagined this type of complication. May God provide us with endurance to preserve during this difficult time.
My husband was very ill last year and had serious reactions to Morphine while in the hospital. One night about 1 a.m. he called me on the phone and told me to come to the hospital and bring the police. I went there and his eyes were all glassy looking and he asked where the police were? When I told him I didn’t bring them he became very agitated and said that they (someone) was removing the patients from their rooms one by one and he was next. It was a reaction to Morphine and as soon as it was daylight he was fine. Also, after being moved to a rehab center the evening nurses had a habit of asking the patients if they were ‘anxious’ and my husband said yes so he was given Ativan. He then would see bugs on the ceiling and would think he was home but couldn’t understand why I changed the cabinet to white in the kitchen when they were really the medicine cabinets in his room. His eyes would get a fixed look and it would take 24 hours for him to return to normal. This happened twice before it was determined it was the Ativan that he was having a reaction to. The head nurse told me he had sundowners but oddly once the Ativan was discontinued he was fine.
The hospital tht my dad is recently been in says he has this condition what is a for sure way to tell tht he has this condition. what should i be lookin 4 and how can help him
Oh gosh, I had never heard of this until my mother developed this when she was admitted to the hospital with a broken ankle. I talked to her on the phone 2 hours before she fell and we had a very lucid conversation. Three days in the hospital and her mental condition was horrible. They sent her to skilled nursing and she is still raising heck every night. Yells that she is in pain, but can’t tell anyone where it hurts. The nursing home staff is getting impatient, and no one knows what to do. Her previous doctor had moved away and she has a new doctor. They changed all her medications and I don’t know if this is a medication problem or really the sundowners they talk about. Everyone writes about the symptoms–has anyone had any luck with any treatment–light therapy or anything??
my grandmother is having sundown symptoms it is very difficult she lives with me and towards evening she wont let us leave her side at night she yells out to us the ativan they prescribed to her helps but it makes her sleep. she is either sleeping at 5 in a drug induced sleep or she is yelling and trying to get out of bed she is 96 and cant stand without help, iam wondering is she more content to sleep all drugged up or is she more comfortable yelling and confused, either way its heart breaking. the only thing we can do is give her ativan and hold her hand.
Since my December post, they put my mother on Xanax and Lexapro. She sleeps a lot and the yelling and sundowners symptoms seem to be under control The downside is the excessive sleeping and more dementia. There are six kids in our family and we have all decided that we prefer mother in this state. She seems quite happy and has stopped assaulting the CNAs. Before she would get almost a wild look in her eyes. Her old sparkle is back, but she mostly doesn’t know what planet she’s on. This may be as close to happy as she can get. It’s not a pleasant way to spend her last years, but if she seems happy, we can be happy too.
My mother in law has just been diagnosed with sundowner syndrome. She has pneumonia as well as recently being diagnosed with lung cancer. She is experiencing all of the things that have been mentioned. She is pretty good in the morning, but around 3 p.m. or so she starts seeing things. She hears and sees birds, people in white, thinks she is in jail and the nurses are her jailers, she most recently has had the nurses call us in the middle of the night because she doesn’t remember where she is, doesn’t know who the nurses are. She doesn’t want to be left alone. She wants us there at all hours of the day and night (mostly night). Today they have assigned a cna to stay with her twenty four – seven. She trys to get out of bed and has succeeded in doing so a couple of times (thank god she didn’t fall). It is so heart breaking to see her in this condition as she too is a wonderful loving kind and caring person that has lived by herself until recently. My husband and I want her to come and live with us when she gets out of the hospital, but we both work and we know that it is going to be a hard road to hoe with watching her and trying to get our rest so we can do our jobs as well. The doctor today put on haladon, we are just hoping and praying this will help. We may have to do as Gloria (above) has done and put her on Xanax and Lexapro at least then we would know that she would be safe and not get up and end up wandering and leave the house. It just kills us to see her in this condition. We would appreciate any knowledge that anyone might have on this condition.
It is pretty obvious that this syndrome is exacerbated by hospitalization, surgery and all the drugs that go along with it, probably the general anesthetics, too. Don’t forget that at the hospital they wake the patient all the time to check vital signs, take blood and even to empty the trash~it is quite barbaric to me.
The way I solved this was to refuse any surgery for my mother, who is 85, and will not let her go to the hospital ever again. She is old enough and not afraid to die a natural death without all these “enhancements” the medical system throws at us all. BEWARE!
Your elderly loved one does not have to suffer like this. Who says they need surgery? We are only on this Planet Earth for a very short time, actually. We all leave it. Why not let it happen naturally is my thought. Thank you for reading this.
i agree with what you say sharon. my dad had a really bad time with delirium after his back surgery and stroke while in the hospital. they had to put him in restraints. it’s just not a good environment for most people.
My Mother is 80 and suffered a mild heart failure and had pneumonia. She went to ICU last Friday and it is a very small area with no windows. I visited Mom last night because I called and the Nurse said she was disoriented. I saw her that morning and she was fine but last night she was not even my Mom–she was saying all of them were crooks and that she would not let them give her medication anymore. I am not even sure she knew who I was. I was very upset and demanded to speak to her Doctor who is on staff and happened to be there and he told me it was Sundown Syndrome. I truly believe that all of the tests they did and the medication caused this. The Doctor told me it was not serious or permanent but I am concerned because this happened to my Grandmother and she passed away shortly after her confusion from all of the drugs they had her on. My prayers go out to everyone who is dealing with this situation.
Wow Nancy – your situation is very similar to what my family is going through. Our mother is 85 yo and has had health issues due to an accident many years before. She has dealt with it well and didn’t let it slow her down…until the past 2 years where the decline is noticeable. She really started going downhill when she was admitted into the hospital a couple of months ago. She has since been released and is cared for in her home. But she is slipping fast. We are all in agreement, no more drugs to treat ‘this or that’, just keep her comfortable and she will go when she’s ready. She is at peace with this and so is the family. We too believe that many of the meds they have prescribed to her over the years have exacerbated the problem as well. God bless.
This sundowning is very scary when you know nothing about it. My Dad was hospitalized this past summer with an infection that almost killed him. He is 86. One day upon visiting him he was extremely agitated and we were told that he had sundowning. Our Dr. was very kind and informative regarding the whole issue as was the nursing staff. After a family visit one night where he was so abusive physically and verbally, we all decided to leave and let the staff handle it. This was truly not the father we knew. It was very difficult to witness but we all decided to go have dinner and a drink and let the staff handle it and get some R&R. We were very fortunate that this was a temporary thing, not more than a week, but it does take its’ toll on the loved ones. He doesn’t remember any of it! You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Caring for our aging parents is sometimes very difficult but so were we growing up at times
my mother has episodes of sun-downers syndrome. when night falls,out comes the checkbook,shes thinking about unpaid bills[which have been paid] and shes worrying about her bankbook being lost.[the bank no longer uses bankbooks]. she paces and cant concentrate on television or any tasks.nights are miserable for me..its 3.30 am now and i just got my mom settled in bed.i would like to knock her out at night with a sleeping tablet.crying and fear are norm at night. i’m tired and might as well stay awake as we have a early doctors appointment.its not getting easier and now think i should take the house keys in the evening..in the daytime she is not too bad but very absent minded.my mother is going to outlive me because the strain of caring for her is taking its toll.its harder for a guy being a caregiver…my patience is not my best quality.
my mom was recently diagnosed with sundowners, but did not have surgery prior to the onset. however, after reading all the comments, i am convinced that there is a very strong connection to the onset of it and the meds used during surgery. that may very well be a class action suit at some point years from now. my mom did have a very bad urinary track infection about 2 years ago and was hospitalized, but was treated without surgery. but in hindsight, i do believe that the sundowners symptoms started shortly after she was home. now, they are completely out of control. surprisingly enough, she’s fulling functional with cooking, cleaning, some sewing and even gardening. but like others have pointed out–mid to late afternoon things change. in her mind, there is a “boy” who’s life purpose is to bother her–all night long. according to her, he has devised a light that shines light through the walls inside the house. she has installed an alarm system, had video camera installed outside, changed the phone number 2-3 times because “he” has tapped her phone line and is listening in on all her conversations. if you are over there at night, she wants to you speak just barely above a whisper because “he’s” listening in. my poor sister who spends the night 3-4 times per week is exhausted the next day, because mom is up all night waking her up so she can see this light that he’s shining or to listen to some noise that only she can hear. and yes, she gets highly irritated and angry when you don’t see/hear what she does. becomes agitated because you were sleep and didn’t hear “all that noise”. if you attempt to go outside to investigate just to prove her wrong, she’s terrified and won’t allow you to go out–says he only wants her. we got her to the doctor once just to get a diagnosis and had to trick her into that appt as she claims there is nothing wrong with her. once with the doctor, she was very rude and ornery towards the dr and vowed to never come again and when the dr suggested meds to help her sleep, she told the the dr off–very embarrassing. the dr says the only solution is we may have to do a 51/50 one day when she’s at her absolute worse just to get her medicated. in the meantime, anyone that spends the night there is going to get little to no sleep because she’s up all night listening for the boy and waking you up so you can see/hear it too. and you’ll also be told off about how hard you sleep.
My husband who turns 77 tomorrow, has been experiencing sundowners for the past 5 months. He ahd a severe fall last August; damaged nerves and has lost the use of his left arm. In Dec., we went to Florida to stay for 6 weeks at our condo. He then started hallucinating; thought people were in our bedroom; thought our living room was the bank lobby and one nite—army barracks. On Christmas morning a one o’clock, I heard him open the front door then close it. Found him walking down the street with his pjs and sport coat on. Needless to say, after two weeks, we returned home. I thought I was going to loose my mind. Ovetr-the-counter sleeping aids didn’t work. After returning home, his neusrologist prescribed seroquel for the hallucinations. The sundowning has gotten worse and he asks sometimes who I am.and every nite wants me to take him home. He paces; seems very confused; agitated, etcx. I will be 65 in Nov. and sometimes I feel like I’m 80. His mother died in 2000 and was in a nursing home for 7 years. I saw inklings of dementia in my husband when his mother was ill—I would say for the past ten years. It’s a nasty disease. Nasty, nasty!
So sorry you have to deal with this challange, I hope you can arrange to get some help or at least a relief person once in awhile. You have to take care of yourself too. At least you do know what it is and why it is happening~~I know, that doesn’t make it any easier.
What you described sounds like my father-in-law. His doctor prescribed zyprexa, and that has helped enormously!
I agree with those who are concerned about the effect of medications on the elderly. They just do not metabolize meds the same way younger people do, and unfortunately some physicians overmedicate. Anesthetics, and the shock to the body of surgery can cause confusion and other behaviors associated with sundowners. I am concerned about the lack of education people are getting regarding their elderly, especially as it seems people have not been told that an infection in an elderly person can cause temporary dementia-like symptoms. In regard to behaviors worsening when they are moved about, yes another downer to getting old…a move to a new place can cause confusion/disorientation. Check with your provider regarding the long time use of meds like Ativan..they can lose their effectiveness after even 2 weeks. To all of you who are caretakers, do take care of yourselves..if it seems impossible, find a way..that is extremely important.
My father was just diagnosed with a massive cerebral hemmorage. He has little to no language skills and is now displaying signs of sundown syndrome. He is only 50 years old. We are trying to get him into a rehabilitation center, but he’s being denied left and right because he either “does not qualify” or is not “ambular enough”. Does anyone know of anywhere that may take him, or any home care practices? I can’t be home with him, i have a 2 year old to support and my mom is now the only one working. We cannot leave him home by himself.
I’ve been reading up on all these comments and after researching on this illness I too think my grandmother is suffering from this, I noticed not only after my grandfather passed away in 2007 that not too long afterward she started suffering with depression which i thought was normal due to the sudden changes in life without him around. She decided to go live with her kids out of state which was fine by me because they are all older and able to look after her more.
I’m married with a 3 year old boy. Me and my wife are 25 and 24 years old now, after she moved out of state we constantly got calls from the family there saying that she was becoming unstable and angry cursing at the kids and trying to fight with everyone. They decided to try and put her in a nursing home. I got angry because I helped with my grandfather till he passed. He had the first stages of Alzheimer’s, being that I’m an EMT and my wife is a nurse, we decided that since she and my grandfather raised me from a baby that I should return the favor and help her out.
So now here’s the issue. Over 2 years later having to deal with her constantly getting worse (and my 3 year old loves to be around her now he’s losing sleep), I’m losing sleep and I had to quit my job to take care of her. She’s always up all night long either drinking coffee or outside talking to herself at 3 in the morning. We live in apartments and had APS called on us because she told someone we’re stealing her money and locking her in her room. The truth is she locks herself in her room and spends all of her social security buying junk and toys for my son even though I told her not to waste her money. She does help with the rent here due to being an extra person we can’t afford to pay her bills and ours, but now I’m going back to work because I’m making the decision to have her put in a nursing home.
I’m way too young to deal with this and my son doesn’t need to grow up being exposed to this type of issue. Her children are more capable of handling this but don’t care about her. Sure me and my wife have medical experience and are used to being around this type of behavior but our jobs don’t require us to live with our patients so its a totally different ballgame. And I can associate with you guys about the driving issue. She wanted to start driving again, but after she ran through an intersection and a red light 2 years ago causing a family in an suv with young children to lose control and almost caused a pileup, I banned her from ever driving again. I have to deal with accidents in my line of work every day and alot of them are elderly drivers or either typical drunks or just being stupid, but regardless they’re either gonna kill someone or get killed.
I love her dearly but I cannot take it anymore. She raised me, yes, but now I have to raise my son. I wish there was another way, medication or something to help, I’m gonna talk to her Dr. (that she refuses to see anymore due to the fact he wants to give her a mental evaluation) and find out any other methods because I know how nursing homes are they abuse the patients there and treat them like crap. My wife worked at several of them for 4 years and I bring patients back and forth to them. It’s a last resort before death.
Thank you all for any support. I know you too have issues and probably have heard this all before but I’m at wit’s end, sorry for being so long writing this all.
John, i can only wish you the best of luck. once they get combative and actually try to hurt someone, housing (outside of skilled nursing) becomes extremely difficult to find, unless funds are unlimited of course. that fact that she is a woman makes it a little easier, as male beds are harder to come by. my dad recently got violent and got kicked out of 2 different assisted living facilities. we ended up having to bring him to a hospital because no one else would take him. we just told the hospital that there was no one available to pick him up and that we couldn’t find a place for him. my dad doesn’t have the income or savings to afford a private pay locked facility. his funds will run out in a month or two and we have applied for medi-cal (medicaid in other states). the number of facilities that will take a combative dementia patient that also take medicaid are really limited. we just found a place several hours from his hometown that agreed to take him. it’s a nursing home in a bad part of L.A. and it has a low rating on medicare.gov. no choice. i am sure it’s brutal in there, but what can we do? you’re in a tough spot that most likely won’t get much easier if ever at all. please let us know what happens.
I made her an appt. at her dr. today and he acted like i was the one that was crazy, but hes a very lousy dr. alot of paramedics i work with claim to be more medically skiled than him, anyways hes got a bad rep for handin out scrips for narcotics like candy, anyways he said he couldn’t do anything for her since he didn’t see anything wrong, but he doesn’t live with her i do so i know a little more about how she is, she acts better during daylight hours but she still says and does things i cant explain, like accusing me of off the wall things i’ve never done like intoxicating my child and i don’t even drink and then saying that her brother is coming to pick her up tomorrow night but he lives over 10 hours away and i checked her prepaid phone we got her and no calls placed, i then decided to call the aps worker who came out before since i never got to speak with her i figured maybe id let her know whats going on, she told me the to seek a neurologist and if she refused to go then make an excuse like tell my mother that shes going for a check up or something to a dr her dr referred her to, i think this is all a bunch of crazy mess i should’ve never had to deal with in the first place, but to make it all even worse we get home from the dr and she starts arguing again and this time the nosy neighbors upstairs that loves to get involved and cause more drama calls the manager of the apartments and now she comes out askin what the problem is and sayin that since my mom isnt on the lease agreement to kick her out if we’re having probs but now where is she supposed to go with no money and only making just about $685 a month social security and ssi combined, sure she draws food stamps $200 a month but she buys tons of fried foods or things to fry which is gonna end up killing her cholesterol levels, but thanks for the follow up, i can say shes not violent towards anyone but me and my wife, everyone else has to listen to her outrageous lies and storys and constantly making me and my wife look like bad parents, i’m a very well respected guy with law enforcement and ems and my wife is a respected nurse at a local hospital, and for her to be running her mouth and getting the cops and cps and aps called on us is gonna ruin our careers and reputation, i love my mother and shes really my gma but raised me from a baby due to my poor excuse for birthmother, but now i have a family of my own and i have to set a good example for my son whos turning 3 this aug 9th, so in order for me to continue my life without problems and stress in an allready stressfull world and workplace i’m gonna have to find her different living arrangements, other than that i hope her the best and its like aps told me if shes not declared mentally incomp. then theres nothing i can do except let her go, so now what happens if she buys a car and kills someone or herself or gets her own place in a senior community and wanders off gets lost or forgets where shes goin or burns the place down, i left the kitchen for 2 mins and went into my room, i have no clue what she was cooking or doing but 20 mins later i walk in there and its kinda warm i look and the stove is on, she dont remember turning it on, my son coulda got burned or something couldve caught flame, i dont know how many house fires ive been to due to elderly people forgetting and leaving the stove/oven/furnace on or lighting a ciggerate and forgetting to put it out, now im worried imma have one of those cases on my hand again only its gonna be my mother im going to have to go out to, i offically think my life sucks now lol anyways guys im probably the worst complainer on her im sorry but i’d much rather vent here than around her cause it would only make matters worse lol thanks again
John, you’re not complaining, you are venting. Big difference. That is what these forums are for – a safe place to let it all out.
So if she gets food stamps, i assume that means she is already approved with a Medicaid card? If so, they will pay for skilled nursing care for her. You need to get her out of your place (especially if it’s violating your lease, among other reasons) asap and get her placed in a facility before her condition progresses and she gets more difficult to place. If she’s already been violent with you guys, it’s pretty probable that she will get that way with others as her brain deteriorates. Get her in while she’s still somewhat easy for others to deal with (without sedatives and restraints). Call your local Medicaid office if you need help and be persistent if you don’t get answers. They are always overworked so you have to stay on top of them. You can google your state’s list of medicaid offices. You’ve done everything you can for her, regardless of her raising you as a child. You can’t ruin your marriage and family life because of her. Plenty of fires are caused by the elderly using the stove or smoking, by the way. It’s a real threat.
yea thats what i’m afraid of is when it gets worse, but she had a card and is approved for the medical care, i guess i kind of never pictured her this way, same thing with my dad before he passed, in my head i never thought he would pass away anytime soon because he was a strong individual, but almost 90 it was really time for him to go and he lived a great life but then shes almost 80 now so im sure that the only reason i’ve even waited this long is because i’m having the same feelin about her, and to make it worse her and my son are attacted severely thats the only thing she claims to live for is him and we’re all she has, and to tell you the truth the only sense of peace she ever gets is when she gets to spend time with him, its when he has to go spend the week with my mother in law or we go out and he comes with us then she gets depressed like her whole world is empty she loves kids and i know when she move out whether its to a nursing facility or a normal home that shes gonna become worse due no not being around him or us, she may act abusive to me and my wife and most of the time its just verbal abuse, but when it comes down to being alone and not having us anymore she doesn’t wanna leave, she acts like every month shes gonna just up and move out somewhere but the economy will not allow it due to her income, even with me and my wife making decent pay we still are having to go back to school for a few more years to bump it up to secure our finances, but i guess back when she was young she didn’t make any plans for the future and my dad was the only major source of income for her due to his veterans pension and speaking of she applied for a widows pension and i know they’re just beating around the bush till she dies, thats how they treated my dad he was fully disabled and when he moved to another state some reason was not declared disabled anymore and declined his full benefits, so after fighting to get it back for 2 or 3 years he passed away now shes dealing with the same issue, but thanks you guys been so supportive, imma try to get this fixed and hopefully it works out for the best and she ends up living comfortable the rest of her days
John, your son will get over it. So will she. Most likely her condition will progress to where she doesn’t know who he is anyway. Also there is no guarantee for the future that she will be peaceful and calm just because she is around you guys. That will probably change too, but maybe a bit slower than if you weren’t around. Heck, she’s already abusive to you! That is a good indicator of things to come, I say. My dad is only 71 and when I went to California to move him into his first assisted living environment, he swore he couldn’t make it without me (I live in NM). That was in April. When I came home I was talking to him twice a day on the phone. Now, 3 facilites later, he isn’t even asking for me and he can’t carry on a coherent phone conversation. I certainly hope your gma’s condition doesn’t move that fast, but you never know. You have to do what is right for you and your family. Her life is coming to a close, yours is just starting. Someone recently told me that when it comes to senior care issues, there is often to “good answer” or solution. It’s just the best choice you can make given the circumstances at the time. That can mean making some choices you swore you would never make and that other people will think is awful and terrible. You can’t worry about them. They don’t live with her and don’t understand. Check out nursing homes’ ratings on medicare.gov/nhcompare/. You are probably familiar with most in your area anyway. It may even get to the point, like it is for me now with my dad, that she will be unhappy, uncomfortable, scared, confused, and that the situation seems intolerable. Sometimes there is nothing you can do about it too, but be supportive by the sidelines where you can. Start distancing yourself slowly now, and it will be easier for you all later. It sucks, plain and simple.
My mother was just recenty (2 weeks today) put into a nursing home. She had fallen and broken her hip and had to have surgery. She is also recently blind from macular degeneration. At times she demonstrates some of the symptoms of Sundownners. She sees a man a night, she doesn’t know who he is or why he is there. She gets aggitated or sad and lonely. It is very heart breaking to see my mom like this. She is tiny, frail, and frankly…. not my mother. My mother was fiesty, independant, fresh, fun to be with, she loved going out. I don’t know who this person in her shell is. It has been very difficult for me and my sister. We tried for 2 years (the last time she fell and got hurt) to get her to agree to assisted living… but she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t even wear the life alert bracelet because she said she didn’t need it. Now she is in a nursing home and all we want is for her to find some happiness in the whatever time she has left in this life. But she is so moody, grouchy, rude, sad, feeling sorry for herself and playing the guilt card with my sister and I – “my children have abandoned me here”, or “Help me, I’m scared, I don’t know where I am. Take me home” . We feel terrible for her, we get frustrated and unfortunately sometimes we yell back at her. I know she can’t help the way she is, I know that. But it is so very hard and I feel terrible when I have gone back at her. I imagine these are all normal feelings… I don’t like it. I want MY mother back. But realisticly, I know she is gone – replaced by this stranger. We are hopeful that she will adapt to the nursing home and want to take part in life…… she has not left the house in nearly 2 years and was living like a hermit, was not taking care of herself hygenically….. ate less than a mouse. She never seemed to care about anything, other than obsessing over things like did the mail man come yet…. was the phone bill paid….. I’m just hoping that Mom will adjust to living in the nursing home where she will be well cared for, safe, well fed, and have people around her. I want her to have some joy in her life. We did the best we could for her. We were there as often as we could (we both have families and work full-time). Mom refused to move in with either of us. She is/was a very stubbon woman. However, I understand not wanting to leave her home of 58 years. I hated leaving my house when I got divorced and had to sell it. …
So sorry for going on and on…. I just want the best for Mom.
Welela, how you feel is normal and you’re only human. These situations are very frustrating and angry-making, so it’s practically impossible to be close to the situation and not respond poorly sometimes. You did the right thing for her. She is sounding like my dad. He’s not the same person anymore either. He also lived most of his later life as a hermit and didn’t want to leave his home. He is also scared and miserable now and wants to die. Unfortunately for him (I say this because death would be a blessing at this point), he doesn’t have a terminal illness and his body is still pretty strong, although weakening more and more all the time. Like I said to John, sometimes there is no happy good solution and they will just be unhappy until the end. It would be great if your mom would adjust, let’s hope for that at least. Not gonna happen for my dad though. It’s all very sad for everyone. Hang in. Sometimes the best isn’t good enough, I know.
Thanks Tammy. You’re are so right, sometimes our best is not enough. At this point we have to do what we know to be the best thing for her. Being in a nursing home is the best thing. She still doesn’t know, at least we have not confirmed it, that she is not going to go home. We are pretty sure she knows. But the social worker said we need to give her some time to get adjusted. Mom actually went out today on a bus trip to the boardwalk and to lunch. THat is the first time in years she has been out without my sister or I. When I found this out tonight I cried tears of happiness. The social worker said if we tell her now that she’s not going home, she might have a set back. Also, she is not aware yet that I have to liquidate her assets to pay for her care. I have her power of attorney. I feel terrible doing everything behind her back, and actually cannot bring myself to do anymore until she is aware of what I have to do. Today happened to be a good day for her and it was a relief for us too. But, I know that tomorrow she could very well be angry, nasty, sad… dilusional (she actually thought one day that she had been abducted and that we would never find her – that was heartbreaking) and beg us to take her home. I just want her to be safe, well-cared for and happy. I don’t think that is too much to ask for as a way for someone to end their life. Otherwise (if she’s not comfortable there and finding some joy) she’s just in the “waiting room” for death.
Welela (beautiful name, btw, where does it originate from?),
I am also the power of attorney and have pretty much finished liquidating the assets. Once I get to $2000 then Medi-Cal can approve him (like Medicaid in other states). Very scary. My dad is just in the waiting room for death right now and it’s awful. I am so happy to hear how your mom go to go out! That is wonderful news. Hopefully that trend will continue. It is indeed difficult to balance when to be honest and when to keep things from them for their own good. Best wishes for you all!
I am told “Welela” originates from Native Americans and it means “little hummingbird”.
I heard from my sister today. She said Mom loved going on the bus trip and can’t wait for the next one. We are so happy that she feels that way. I know tomorrow could be different, but for today she is happy and that makes me happy.
When she is having a bad day, which seems to be most of her days, she too is just waiting for death…. saying she wishes she were dead…. why is she alive…. things of that nature. I can’t seem to bring myself to do anything more with her finances until she knows she isnt’ going home…. I don’t know why, I just can’t do it. Then I have to spend her money down to $2000 for Medicaid – terrible thing to have to do. I had to do that for my Uncle, my mother’s brother. However, he was fine with me handling his finances and never gave it a second thought. But it’s different with my mother, maybe because I know how obsessive she has become about her money and her bills.
I’m sorry to hear about your dad, and I’m sorry that you have to go through this. Hopefully you have help and a good support system. It’s me and my younger sister… our older sister and brother are not helpful at all. But you can bet when the time comes, they be there with their hands out to get their share of the house sale proceeds. (Sorry, that is not very nice – I know.) My daughter is good about going to visit my mother, but she tends to be a bit judgmental of my sister and I. She doesn’t understand the frustration and emotions that go along with an elderly mother who is in the situation my mother is in and having to make all these decisions. We’ve come to words several times over this and I really hate it.
Oh well, life goes on. Thanks for letting me vent Tammy. My shoulder is here for you should you need it, and my ears are open.
Best wishes to you.
My grandmother has a pretty bad case of SD. Her syptoms began at around 4 or 5pm. Shell walk around the house checking all the windows and doors making sure they are closed and locked. She will check every 10 or 15 minutes because she has forgotten that she already checked. Her reasoning for doing this obsessively? “There are too many crazies out there and they can come in and kill us”. This is her response every time. It never varies. Another problem she has is constantly asking my grandfather if she has water and tissues by the bed, if there are enough covers, if the nightlight is in the bathroom and other various questions that normal people would worry about once they actually are going to bed, not hours before. She will ask these questions every 10 or so minutes for the entire night. She will also get up randomly and walk aimlessly through the house looking at things and even picking them up and moving them for no apparent reason. No one can figure out why she does these things and it gets extremely annoying.
I totally understand the feeling of annoyance. I think it’s a pretty normal feeling for the family. I feel a lot of anger and it doesn’t seem to be changing for me (better or worse). My sister tells me that Mom is now getting very nasty with the aids that help her, very very rude and nasty. Sis also says that Mom doesn’t want her to leave at night and gets very agitated…. making Sis check this, check that, put this here or put it there… did you do this, did you do that? Sis says it is very annoying, frustrating and disturbing at the same time. My brother goes to visit Mom and he gets her all upset talking about finances … when my Mother then dwells on. I have to take care of the finances and I don’t mind, but my brother needs to stop talking with Mom about it and upsetting her. I could go on an on and on…….
My mom is 86. and has been dealing with dementia for last several years – now have been told she has severe dementia – hallucinations , confusion off and on during day — by 5 pm sundowners almost always kicks in — tonight very bad – confusion, yelling , cussing – telling me to go to hell – I live with her – work at home with my job – my sisters will not help. Nursing home not an option – she is a retired nurse and has thratened many times to kill herself if that happens. I am a nurse and I believe she would do that. I want her to have as gooid a life as possible but frustrating
I thought I had it rough. My thoughts and prayers for you and your mom.
my father has episodes of being afraid of my mother at bed time. He locks the door to his bedroom and baracades the door. We have not noticed any other symtoms.
My mother who is 84 now has had illness and hospitalization for depression and anxiety for about 5 years now. 4 years ago she had ect and it worked great. in the past 6 months she has gotton worse so I called 911 because she was so tremulous and agitated from a benzo, anxiety or both. She was hospitalized for delirium due to medications. Today she was discharged but tonight she was hostile, argumentative, agitated, paranoid. I don’t know if she is sundowning, really has dementia, or what!! She is sleeping now but are keeping a close eye on her. Hospital said to bring her to ER if it did not improve. What a mess. she could be this way from change from hosp to home. I hope it gets better real soon.
Finally! I’ve found something that makes sense.
My 86 yr old grandmother does all the things described above and by all those here.
I’m at my wits end because she’s straddling the line between being competent in some things while completely incompetent in others. She’s going through a worse bout right now because we’re trying to move in a caregiver.
Her doctor refuses to even diagnose her properly or do much to help. We don’t know where to turn anymore. How can I get her diagnosed accordingly? Can anyone share tips on how to find doctors and what to ask? Did anyone involve a therapist or neurologist?
Any direction you folks can give me would be stellar. I’m the only member of the family left who’s willing to deal with my grandmother because she’s so vile and has run them all off. It’s a lot for just one person to handle.
Thanks for reading and I hope to hear from someone soon.
Lisa
Lisa, my first thought is that if she’s that vile, you might want to think about assisted living if it’s financially possible. Heck, it might be cheaper if she gets to the point of needing 24 hr care! My dad’s primary care physician made the first diagnosis, but his neurologist confirmed it, and we also had him see a geriatric physician. You may consider looking for a specialist like that. Medicare paid for his services. Check with your local senior center or alzheimer’s group for referrals. Good luck!
Hi Tammy. Sorry for the delay and thank you for your response.
Unfortunately, my grandmother is just quite competent that we cannot force her into assisted living or a care facility. Her doctor still will not confirm a diagnosis.
She doesn’t have medicare either, but private insurance as she had that option as a former government employee. Her behavior has been nothing short of horrendous these last 2 weeks. She’s hidden the keys to her car, and can’t remember where, which means a heft fee to re-key it. *sigh*
She’s just a wretched woman these days. I even don’t want to do this anymore, and can’t imagine how her caregiver must feel.
Anyhow, I tried talking to her doctor about the sundowner’s and he ignored me.
Now I get to try to find another physician who may actually want to help.
Thanks for the input Tammy. It’s much appreciated.
My Mom is 84 years old she has been though alot of thing in the past 20 years she had Breast cancer at 64 years about four years ago she fell off of a bus and after she went in to Afib and there have been a lot of ups and downs.Mom Just got out of the hosptal three weeks ago as she had colen cancer and they got all of the cancer but we strated to see thing that we had just chalked up to getting older but the more time we see her now we are seeing thing that make us rething what we though.We have contacted Cosa To help us with her care as there are 6 of us and we are doing round the clock care for her and still working are Jobs How do I go about finding out if Mom has Sundown Syndrome with out upsetting her as just talking about Adlt day care really made her upset a she cryed. we had to stop her from taking her med as she took her med more then she was to take.One day she said oh I took my meds today so I said does any one know that you did? And she said oh thats right I’m not aload to touch my med I felt like my heart was lead. I would welcome some word of wisdom from people that are dealing with this
Willa, my best advice is that you read The 36 Hour Day book, which should be showing at the bottom of this page. It tells all you need to know about how to deal with the entire dementia scale of stuff. Other than that, I hope some others that have had specific experience in this area will chime in to help you out.
My mother is 68. She has had a very tough medical history, you name it and it is probable to have happened. My mother is very small but has always been very strong. She had to be, my dad died in 1971. I was three and am the youngest of three, mom raised us on her own. I think she did ok, it was not “perfect” but was ok.
My mother has chronic COPD, three weeks ago she went into the hospital because of it. She was also in congestive heart failure. It took five days for her to get well enough to come home. She was off work for the next week and returned to work on the 11th of this month (she has a full time job). That day she was not feeling well and had chest pains, her boss sent her home. I took her to the hospital and because of a one second blip on the EKG she got admitted back in the hospital. The blip indicated a possible blockage in her heart. Well, after a long conversation with me she agreed to have a heart cath.. Wednesday, they found two blockages. They wanted to fix them with stints then but due to reduced kidney function, she was not able to handle the amount of die required for the test and proceedure. They scheduled the proceedure for Friday afternoon. Thursday night, my mother had a heart attack. She has some heart damage but, not real severe. Friday morning they rushed the proceedure. By that afternoon she is sick with an infection. Sat. and Sun she is sick but she is as always still totally in control of her thoughts, ideas, and functions she seems to be totally normal as far as her mind is concerned. Up to this point, my mother has a full time job, she controls her finances and drives like a person in thier forties she lives a normal productive life. In fact, some of our friends call her ” Mrs. Mario and me, Mario jr. because we drive so much alike”. Monday, my friend and I go to visit and she is a different person, she is looking out the window and almost avoiding us. When we speak to her or require any thing of her she acts fine. She is as always calm, answers normal, and is totally aware. Two seconds later she is back looking out the window. She would almost seem to fall asleep but, would start talking to people. She would “pop” out of it and then say ” I keep falling asleep then start to dream and wake myself up from talking to people about stupid stuff.” A little later, she was looking at the wall and said ” why the he*l does it look like that?”. She was not sleeping!! I went to the nurse and basically would have gotten better answers from the wall as my mother appeared to be doing. The staff did finally came in and asked the the standard questions that any one half baked could have answered and said’ ” she was talking in her sleep.” I have known this woman for 43 years and until Monday, have never heard her talk in her sleep. I may have failed to mention, she has lived in my house with me since 1996. Tuesday I go to visit her and she tells me of the little tricks the hospital is playing for halloween”she thinks”. She tells me of the light shows on the wall, the men that are sitting in the hand washing sink, the mans head on the counter in her bathroom, the cat in the box on the wall, and the spider that is moving around on the wall under the wall paper, all the pictures and charts on the wall move once an hour and they keep making the clock change time, and the plants growing out of her pillow. I saved the best for last. She tells me ” look at the man walking past the window, I think he has a cool costume.” As I looked out the window I thought God, please let there be a really big freaky bird out here. I did not have the heart to tell her if there was a man walking out there he would have to be 50 feet tall and his costume was the last thing to think about. As with the other items no bird. I ask her, were you dreaming last night when you asked about the wall? She said, ” no. I was talking about the lights they started to display on the wall.” After this, I went to the Dr. and was told they think it is sundowners. Until this moment, I had never even heard of sundowners. I’m at a loss, I don’t know what to think. I argued with them, really not having a clue. I must say. After reading all of the stories above. May what ever God you beleive in, bless each and every one of you. I’m not sure yet and my heart is already breaking!!! I have seen my mother like this once, 30 years ago after an operation she had a bad reaction to codine. I prey it is only a reaction this time. Can someone show no signs whatsoever then head so far south in two days??? Are they jumping the gun or, do I have false hope? All I know is, I’m not ready to loose my mother. I’m afraid, taking care of her would destroy my life. How do you accept your only parents”life” may be over? Thanks for reading!
When my mother first had her fall (broken hip) for about a good 2 weeks she was totally not herself… acting very odd, seeing things,… saying weird things. At the time it was very frighteneing for us… but in hindsight, I believe it was the trauama of the fall, surgery, and being hospitalized that put her in that frame of mind. She has since gotten much btter….. not to say that the sundowners is gone… but it doesn’t seem to be quite as severe as it was. Maybe give your Mom a littel time to recuperate and heal… maybe she too will come around and become more like herself. If after a fair amount of time, she is still acting the same way, I would have her checked by a neuoro for dementia/sundowners. Good luck… I know this is very stressful on you… try to hang in there.
Have you had your mother tested for a urinary tract infection (UTI)? Someone w/a UTI, can exhibit symptoms of confusion/dementia, and the symptoms do manifest quickly. I have had that experience multiiple times w/my mother–when she was in rehab facilities after her stroke. (BTW, she did not have speech or memory problems from her stroke.) After receiving antibiotics, her symptoms always went away, and since she has been home with us for over a year and a half, she has not had any UTI’s. We also make sure my mother gets 6 oz. of cranberry juice a day. Hope this helps…
Scott, I was just wandering if your mother got better?! Sometimes medications given in the hospital can mess a person up especially after surgery. Hop she got better : )
Have read through a good many of the above comments. Having to take care of a loved one that has dementia/Alzheimers is a tremendously difficult thing to do. It doesn’t matter whether it is a spouse, parent or grandparent. I am very fortunate because my spouse has helped when I felt like I just wasn’t communicating well enough with my Mother. He would step in and try to talk to her. I think this is a good example of having an “outsider” or someone else to back you up when things get intolerable. My Mother is 84, has Alzheimers and has been living with us for almost 2 years. I can tell you there are times when I just want to go in a closet and cry. She doesn’t remember anything that happened 5 minutes ago and is confused about family members, etc. She does not dress herself, bath herself, and sometimes doesn’t even clean herself after going to the bathroom. She cannot perform any elementary things such as sorting pennies, nickles, dimes and quarters even if the piles of change are already sorted somewhat. I give that example because that seems easy to me, but not to her. Sometimes, she asks to help in the kitchen, but cannot put placemats or dishes on the table bacause she has forgotten how. I wish there was something she could do to occupy her time, but as yet, I haven’t found anything. I try to take her out almost every day, even if it’s just to go get a loaf of bread. That seems to make her feel a part of things. She has recently exhibited signs of what I feel may be beginning of sundowners. She wakes up in the morning in a good mood, but as the day progresses, she gets more agitated, and sad. Last night, she was crying by the time she went to bed. I wrote this “essay” because I want others to know they are not alone. To take care of a parent is one of the toughest things I have ever done. Just try to get out of the house and away from the daily caregiving at the very minimum of once a week. It would be nice to have two or three days like that. I know that every Friday I can leave and go play golf and not worry about even dressing my Mother because the caregiver will do it. Don’t feel guilty about leaving your loved one with someone. You will be a better person and have a better attitude with your caregiving. Good luck to you all and may God bless you!
My Dad has just been diagnosed with sundown/ dementia. Things are really bad at night . My problem is he takes care of his sister who is 90 and blind and is in a wheel chair . It has got to the point where he is not able to take care of himself or her at night. He is ok most of the time during the day.I am moving him and my aunt to my house on the eighth of this month. This is going to be completely against his will but it has to be done. Can anyone tell me somethings to do to help him.This is all new to me and I dont know what to expect.I have heard so many things I do not know what to expect. Please help.
Barbara, please read the 36 Hour Day book (see bottom of this page). It’s really helpful for all the stages and aspects of trying to live with or help someone with dementia or alzheimer’s. (Your local library will probably have it too.) At least if they are together, it might help him, because you can tell him that he needs to remain with her to “help” care for her. Maybe his doctor can help him to understand his condition more. But he may never come to grips with reality. Prayer will help you and them both. The Lord is the only one that got me through my dad’s situation (as referenced throughout the various threads on this site). He can help you too. These problems are just too immense for people to deal with without divine help. Someone told me once that many times there are no right choices, just the best choices you can make at the time. Educate and take good care of yourself, and you will have a clearer head to help them. Rely on the experience of those of us on here who have gone before you. Even if we don’t have an answer, we can commiserate with you, and you can just vent when it gets unbearable. If his dementia is progressive, there may come a time when you are no longer able to care for him in your home. Don’t feel guilty if that happens, but be prepared ahead of time to have some places to take him. It’s harder to place men than women, so I would suggest you get in touch online with A Place For Mom now. http://www.aplaceformom.com/ Let their consultant (it’s all free to you) know the situation and that you are looking to the future. They will help educate you as to all phases of what may lie ahead for you. They were an invaluable resource for me. Also the local long-term care ombudsman for your area can help too. Please make sure you have relief respite care for yourself. You will really need it, especially with two of them. One is hard enough! Best of luck to you all.
My Dad (94 years old) just had hip replacement after a fall. His short term memory was gone due to TIA before the surgery but his brain change right after the surgery was dramatic. We were told by the nurse staff that it look like Sundowner’s syndrome. We read all about it and it appeared a classic case. Then working with his doctor, she said it was a reaction to his pain meds. She took him off the pain meds and there was improvement within days. The doctor said some elderly take a while to get all the pain drugs out of their system. He is home after a week in hospital and two weeks in rehab and each day is getting back to normal. Only shows some confusion when he first wakes up now.
We are just experiencing Sundowner’s Syndrome with my mom. About 6 she starts dropping into it with the worry and tears. By 10 she is a terror in the ICU (being treated for cancer and pnemonia). She begged for one of us to stay with her so I did. I found out it didn’t matter that I was there, she could not be convinced that her hallucinations were not true. She was convinced her “sitter” was the devil and was turning blue. She was sure the entire hospital staff was trying to kill her.
Although it is difficult, don’t feel guilty about leaving them in the care of hospital staff or a caretaker. If you don’t get the rest you need won’t be able to take care of them well in the daytime either.
TJ, I am so sorry to hear about the suffering your mom is going through. And you too! I see that she believes in the devil. Might she be a Christian? Or are you? If so, I would highly recommend, if you haven’t done so already, praying over her and commanding any demons to leave her presence, in Jesus’ name. Is she able to pray during the day, or even when these things are happening? Would you be able to teach her to say “In Jesus’ name I command you to leave my presence” or even just “Jesus help me” or “Jesus make them go away”? How very frightening this all is. My dad had the same problems, and I helped him say what he could and we prayed together when he was able to. You gotta cover all the bases, just in case! Even if you don’t experience an outward change, the words you say are still powerful and will make a difference in their world, guaranteed. Thank you for your last sentence, that is so important and true. Best of luck to you!!
It is so sad to read all of the above. Needles to say my mother who will be 90 in August and has lived with me for the past 12 years is experiencing most of what hasbeen mentioned. Reading all the comments have helped me to understand my mother a little better. I still work full-time and have cared for my husband who had a stroke and a cardiac arrest last May, had to place him in a nursing home for rehabilitation. He has been taken to the hospital by ambulance three times since he came home with lung/breathing problems; water retention in the lungs. He is also a diabetic. My mother has a provider 5 hours a day 6 days a week during the day while I am at work and seems to be fine, but as soon as the sun goes down she turns into a different person. I am reading for the first time about Sundowners Syndrome and now I can understand mother so much better. I want to place her in Assisted Living or Nursing Home, but she refuses and I cannot count on her because she works too. what am I to do? She gets up in the middle of the night comes and knocks on my door wanting to eat and says she was not fed during the day, uses abusive language telling what an ingrate I am and how I take things from her room, her relatives come in the middle of the night to sleep in the spare bedroom and are taking her money (according to her). I have had to take medication to be able to sleep and frankly I do not know how much longer I can take this. But I guess I must continue the good Lord for endurance and strength, for He never gives us anymore than what we can take.
My mother is 80 years old and i believe she is suffering from sun downers. for the past two years she has experienced horrific hallucinations including visions, believing someone is in the attic and under the house. She smells what she calls drugs, she believes people are spraying her with drugs through the vents. She lives alone and is fully able to care for herself, cook – clean – bathe- and is generally very sharp mentally with both short term and long term memory in tact. My father passed away 4 years ago, the first year and a half she did very well resting at night , then she had a horrible nightmare then all began to change. She refuses to discuss her experiences with her doctor, my sisters and I do not know what to do..I welcome counsel on how to best care for my dear mother.
I recommend you read the The 36 Hour Day book by Nancy Mace and Peter Rabins
. Helps a lot for how you can help them, and help yourself.
Hi Tammy, I am sorry you Mom is going through that. My mom was having the same problem, and I started leaving her bathroom light on at night, and it helped sooo much! But, just the other night she started up again seeing things in her room. so, Now, I am just dealing with it as I have before. I have a Baby Monitor in her room, so if she needs me, she calls me. My Mother is also very sharp in the head, but as the night comes, all that changes. My Mother will be 87 in July…I am so glad she is still doing as well as she does. I do have to help her dress, and I cook for her, and clean up after her, so it is different. But, I would just keep checking in with her in the evenings. They don’t like to tell their Doctors anything at this point. They are just done being poked, and prodded. Good Luck Dear…..Barb
hello, I am not sure if anyone is going thru what I am going with my 86 yr old mom. I don’t even know if it is sundown but she is in a nursing home and for the past month her depression is worsening. All she does is complain, cries, and is uncontroling. The staff is unable to meet her needs and all they want to to is prescribe pyscotic pills tah have millions of side effects. She is on the lowest dose of ativan but now they want to give her surroquil. She was on geodon but when i looked online i basically thought i am giving my mom an early trip to her tomb and discontinue it. Please does anyone have any suggestions as to what i can do. She has had a blood hemorage in the brain back in 08, hypertension, diabetes,. I feel so depress myself as I have 3 children myself and I have no siblings , no family that is there for us and so ican get advice. This is driving me crazy to see my mom this way
My mother is 86 & doing very well considering she has congestive heart failure & blood pressure problems. Recently she was hospitalised with severe trigeminal neuralgia. The hallucinations started in the emergency department after morphine. After being moved to a ward and given a sleeping pill, the visions & terrible nightmares started. I stayed with her all night. In the morning I refused to let anyone give her any more meds. She wasnt in pain any more & hallucinations had gone. That night she had another sleeping tablet with more horrific nightmares. Check any medications she’s on. They can react with one another or it can be withdrawal as a particular medication wears off.
My mum is home again living independently whereas doctors said that wouldnt be possible. She is not taking any of the meds prescribed in the hospital although she is still under a specialist for her heart failure. Too much sugar & not enough protein or water in the diet can cause major sleep problems. Vitamin B12 deficiency can cause mental confusion & all elderly people do better with digestive enzymes to help them get nutrients from their food as this ability declines with age. Get a medical power of attorney for your mum & do a lot of research. Hope things improve for you.
I had to put my Mom in the hospital last week She became so angry most of the time would say hateful horrible things and tried to drive off and she is legally blind
I have been crying for days I went to the hospital again today and they are trying all kinds of tests to see what it is She says she hates me for putting her in there and probably can never come home again
I have put my life on hold for over 15 years she is now 85
I would do anything for my Mom but the hatefulness is awful and her arguing about everything
They said it was dementia but a lot of other things are starting to crop up also
I have no family support for when my Dad died about 3 years ago the family split wide open The others took everything they could as fast as they could of my Dad’s
I have such guilt but I needed professional help with my Mom so very bad She can appear so sweet to others when she wants and then with me it is like Cujo I had to even record her on my cell phone when she would throw her tyrants so people would believe me
This is horrible I feel so guilty but I have no choice My health is starting to really suffer now from the stress
I believe in God with all my heart I pray that he will guide me through this rough time
I thought I could always take care of my Mom till the dementia got bad She thinks everyone is out to get her and that everything is stupid and never has anything nice to say about anyone
I told her today again at the hospital I love you Mom and she just glared at me She said you are responsible for putting me in the nut ward I told her she told me and others she wanted to commit suicide and she was hearing voices and music after 3 pm
I tried to focus her back on the fact the doctors decided that she needed to be evaluated and put her in there but she has total hatred for me right now
To all that have had to go through this God Bless You
Joy
Dear Joy,
Please do not blame yourself. Unfortunately if your mom follows my dad’s pattern, it is not going to stop there. She will eventually become aggressive and violent, and for her sake, and yours, you have done the best thing! You have cared for her for the past 15 years, and done verything that you could, and it now time that the professionals take over and do for her what they can. Rather have quality time with her, and know that the nasty person that she has become, is not your mother. If your mother’s brain was still whole, she would be shocked at the way she was behaving. She is very lucky to have had you for all this time, and you have been a wonderfull daughter. Please do not beat yourself up because you cannot cope anymore! You did so for so long! I admire you for what you have done. I only lasted for about 9 months, and the only reason why my dad is going to a home with professional care is because he has become dangerous to himself and others.
I greatly admire you for having lasted so long! You deserve a medal for all of this! God bless, and try to get some rest and take time for yourself.
Michelle
Joy, you just described my mom. My dad died three years ago and after about two months she started accusing everyone – my family mostly as we lived next door and took care of her and dad – of stealing everything from her. from her hearing aides to all of dad’s tools he used to have when he worked as a carpenter. My brother said to just return what I took, problem was, I didn’t take anything! Then she accused my husband of having killed dad, my kids of stealing her grocery money, camcorder, clothes. . . You name it, we probably stole it. We had to move away to keep my sanity and my brother became her main caretaker. He still thinks there is nothing wrong with her. I don’t understand where he is coming from. She now hears loud Christian music all the time, says it keeps her up at night. and that the neighbors are piping it into her house and yelling at her at night. My brother moved her to an elderly apartment complex and she says they don’t like her and are stealing from her. I don’t know how this will end, but mom is 86 and in good physical health and now wants to get out of the apartment and in her own house again. She refuses to come and live with me or my brother so that we could take care of her. And I hate to admit, I am not sure I could handle it if she did. . . But I always swore I would never put my parents in a home.
my father has a severe cause of sd… he is 80 years old, he sleeps in his chair on and off during the day. i try to keep him awake as much as possible in hopes that he will have a good nights sleep. impossible. we live in a 2 story townhouse, which has very steep stairs. i have documented 15 trips up and down these stairs while on pain medicine as well as sleep medication.
after a recent fall, thank god, only bout 5 steps, he injured his neck and wore a brace for about a month. during this time, i rearranged the living area downstairs and relocated his bed. that lasted for about a week. i made a deal with him that i would move his bed back upstairs if he would let me put a gate at the top of the stairs for his safe being and would be latched only after all his medication had been taken and he started feeling the affect. he would beg me to open it so he could continue to travel up and down. my brothers said it was cruel so i removed it. i have 3 brothers. 1 lives out of state, 2 are 40 minutes from us. i get 0 help from either brother and 1 will not even call.
dad wonders alot at night, follows me everywhere i go in the house, worries bout the mail everyday, very stubborn, and has hid thing that he cant remember where he hid them…. he has started loseing his abality to make sentences and carry on a conversation..
am i supposed to let him continue the travel up and down the stairs? i am scared to death im gonna wake up one morning and find him at the end of the stairs
Does anyone know if Sundowners can start in someone as young as 65? My mother has lived alone since my Dad passed away 4 years ago. During the evening when I speak to her on the phone our converstations start very nice. However somewhere in the middle she will begin to call me names, and not seem to understand that I am telling her she isn’t being nice. She will also tell me terrible things that she says my Dad said about me or my Husband, despite knowing my Dad would have never said those things. She claims to sometimes recall it, but only when reminded, and other times she makes an excuse as to why she can’t remember. She complains about people stealing her medications, and things that I don’t think even have value for other’s to steal. I am very concerend for My Mother as at first it made me Mad that she was saying these terrible things to me, but something seemed off. If anyone know’s of anyone having problems at the age of 65 living totally alone please share your story. Thanks, and Good Luck to Everyone.
I don’t know if this will help but my sister in law is in her early 60′s and had fought with depression for over a year and had a manic state that almost sent her to the psych ward. After some testing they found out her heart was going into a-fib and it was causing her brain to be starved of oxygen. This was causing her to say things to her husband that were mean and hurtful. And to her sister in law (a nurse)who was trying to help her. It has taken them another year to get that stabilized in some form. She had several of those “breaks” during this past year as she could not tell when her heart was going into a-fib. There were no physical symptoms she could feel. She just would suddenly go off, so to speak. Would begin as a manic state and escalate to not making any sense at all and just rambling the most awful things. Just one more thing that can cause confusion in our brains…
To all the other folks reading this page, my heart goes out to you. I found this page while researching sundowners. Was just told today the nursing home my stepmom is in told my sister she was showing signs of sundowners. She was just admitted on the 9th of this month to a hospital for an eval of her mental state. Dr’s said she had dementia and needed 24 hr care in skilled facility. We had her transferred to be closer to my sister and I. Now that I’ve been reading this page I’m concerned they jumped the gun as she had a UTI when they admitted her. I will find out tomorrow what meds they have her on and if they got rid of her UTI.
I don’t no if my mother has sundowner or not, but she’s fine doing the day. she goes to the store, church, cooks, every thing a normal person does. But at night she stays up all night long worrying about here health, busy checking here boold pressure every ten minitues. then that leads to here anixity. every thing starts at night. Depresion, Restlessness, Fear, and now I’ll notice that she is forgeting to pay certian bills and the worse of all hiding things like here money or bank card and other important documents. I don’t no what to do but to move here in with me so that i can keep here in sight pluse other family memeber that stays with me will help out. but I am suprise that the Doctors does not notices that seems that she been 11 times to the emergancy room night after night with in a month. don’t no what else to do help for any comments.
I care for a 102 year old amazing woman. My husband and I have helped her since her husband dies 30 years ago. Her health has been great up until the last 2 years. She had a heart attach the day before she turned 100. We had to put her into assisted living at the age of 100 and they “kicked her out” because she kept wandering at night and would walk out of the facility setting off alarms. She would wander away from the facility in the late afternoons and get lost. (The assisted living she was in was a limited staffed facility and did not have a locked unit) We have moved her to a nursing home that has an assisted living level that does have the capability of monitoring that she does not wander and get lost. Recently they have been taking her out for rides in the car and going to parades. Now she is becoming angry because she wants to go home. (home to her is her home she sold 40 years ago). It is becoming very difficult for me to handle her anger, when we have always been her advocate for her and her helper. She has no family, no nieces, nephews anyone to help her so we must continue. I think my visits to the home are reminding her of her old place she lived and it is causing her more anxiety. Do I discontinue to visit her? We love her dearly and take care of her the best we can. We are not her blood relatives but we are the only family she has. Her attorney has looked for someone related and there is no one. She made my husband and I her power of attorney when she became ill on her 100th birthday. Up to that date she had never been hospitalized and only took a baby aspirin a day her entire life. It is very difficult to see her mind go. Her general physical health is very good. One other change is she has started to carry a teddy bear around everywhere she goes and she is now trying to feed it real food. This began approx 3 months ago.
My mother has started to display many of the above mentioned symptoms.she accuses my niece of stealing from her. she swears my daughter is engaged to be married. has fierce hatred for my sister inlaw. with the onset of nightfall she becomes angry at the smallest of things, wanders upstairs where she could fall. she seems to focus most of her anger towards my sister and Brother who are her main care providers. There is one difference she doesnt seem to want anyone around ? is this out of the norm.
I have the distinct pleasure and responsibility of watching a friends mother several days a week.
She is 93 and still in it…!!
I am going to try and make some cookies or bake in the evenings when I am there and see if this perks her up. I think the loss of one sense can be made up for by sparking up another.
I am praying for more insight..it’s about all I can do and it seems to really help.
Thanks, mary
my mom had. heart attack in July, she was in 2 convelesent homed and she was not eating, telling strange storeys etc. she has been home now since sept and was doing good with a cna 7 days ask 10 hrs a day. as of yest. she has been very agitated confused and anxious. I think she night have a uti. she was prescribed ativan 2 days ago and has gotten worse. can someone give me dome suggestions please!! thank you god bless you all!! Judy
just got back from my moms dr. he said she has vascular dementia. can anyone tell me about this please..!!! she also has had a heart attack, which within two months was walking but has had 3 or more uti’s. shes not the vibrant spunky mom I use to have but I am blessed to have her at all. She has been pacing confused and irritable more now than in July. any input would be helpful. thank you, God bless!!! judy hull
My grandmother who is 83 years old has in the past couple of weeks begun to talk about another home that she says she has and wants to go to. She lives in her own home with my great aunt. My mother has been taking my grandmother to the doctor and caring for her and recently hired a lady to be there during the day to help out with my grandmothers personal needs as my grandmother cannot walk.
As I mentioned, my grandmother has been talking about a house she wants to. No one knows about this house. My grandmother has lived in her present home, which she built, for about 30 years. She does not recognize her home anymore. At first we would answer “what house are you talking about” or “there is no other house” because we did not know what what she was talking about. She began to feel that we all thought something was wrong with her. We have always talked to her in a respectful and caring manner. Now we agree with her and when she asks to go to the other house, we tell her ok, but right now it is too cold to go out. She even asked me what was the reason she was here at this house. I answered, “grandma, this is your house”. Three days ago she became upset that no one would take her to her other house and was sad. Of course we do not want to see her like this. We have tried saying to her that everything she needs is here at this house and there is nothing over in the other house. We even tried telling her that the lady who takes care of her during the day comes to this house and she would get lost if we sent her to the other house. Can anyone offer any suggestions on how to answer her?
Thank you,
Gladys
my mother in law just had hip replacement surgery eleven weeks ago .the gave her oxycontin for a pain killer my husband and i not very happy about it. but she is showing almost all of the symptoms of sundowners . she refers to a fourth woman and at night there is little man sitting in the corner sticking his tongue out. she decorated the house for christmas but dosen’t remember it.i’m not quite sure if it is the drugs or if it is something else. she also is up all night pacing she has mood changes she has a lot of the symptoms but is it the oxycontin or could it be dementia? i would appreciate some feed back.
My Dad is 91 and is getting more and more confused. He is getting very rude and paranoid. He tells me that his dreams feel so real and he wakes up but is still in a dream state. His mood changes like the wind. One minute he seems fine and the next minute he is is filled with fear. He has plenty of money but constantly is in fear about his money. He looks at his watch every few minutes and as soon as he is somewhere he has anxiety about leaving. He is in a constant state of anxiety. I find it very difficult to be around him. I feel guilty for feeling this way but I know I have to take care of myself. My mother died four years ago and I have been the daughter to handle everything for him. He is still driving and I am very worried about this. There have been several incidents. I have tried to talk to his doctor about his nervous condition to see if there was a medication that would help but his doctor said my Dad is fine, the doctor will not listen. I noticed his condition seems worse later in the day. Morning time seems to be the best for him. He lives in independent living in a senior place. He refuses to cook for himself and complains about the food there. He eats lots of his meals out at restaurants. He found a lady where he lives that seems willing to cook and talk with him. He wants to be served. I am worried about his future with his nervousness getting worse. Does anyone here have any tips for me? I am his POA.
Hi Javabean,
When my dad (88) started having problems, he was examined and put on anti-depression meds with a sleeping aid for his sundown symptoms. I would check in your area for an Alzheimer’s group or the department of aging. They have resources and can lead you to doctors that can help with your dad.
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